"We are your legacy"

So I had this original thought in the car after my grandfather's funeral. Then I was reminded of it after reading Enoch's blog. Basically, "what I do goes beyond my own existence". First, I thought about how we (my family and all the people whose lives my grandfather has ever touched), are the vessels in which my grandfather's memory will continue to live. At first, that was a totally secular thought related only to my grandfather. Then I realized, in that same sense, that is how Jesus continues to be known on Earth.

It's been more than 2000 years and people are still talking about Jesus. Whether it's because of the ridiculously mind-boggling events we call miracles that he performed, or the loving affection he showed to the Untouchables, the reason why we know about him is because people talked about it. They even wrote about it! Of course, we shouldn't all expect to go down in the books of history, but we should at least try to establish some sort of legacy, or continue someone elses.

...

Wow, that post definitely downgraded from it's original intent. Gotta work on my goldfish attention span.

12:34!

so random thought.
i want to go to a wedding. of a friend. of somebody i actually know.
not just "family friends" or "parents' friends" or family i haven't seen in a long time/don't really know
i want to celebrate the "happiest day of [somebody who I actually talk to]'s life".
not to mention my own, but that day can wait :)
just a thought.

RIP Kong Kong

You lived a full life.
Done many more things than we could ever imagine.
You've left a legacy of children and grandchildren.
I'll always remember your jellyfish story.
I pray to God that you once met Him
and that you're going to meet Him now.

I love you

Memories: Instant Conversations

So I was reading over some msn conversations I had saved.
There were some pretty funny moments, guess who said what:

1. "This 3.14159mp NEEDS SLEEP"
2. "you just make me feel good about myself"
3. Me: How are we going to get to Gavin's house? __:"I'll carry you"

And then there were several conversations with someone I haven't spoken to in forever. He asked me "How are you doing spiritually?" I remember when I first read it in the conversation, I thought "woah! did YOU just ask me that? of all people!" I was impressed about his turn around. But for some reason, we haven't spoken since a few days before our baptism. Why is it that things have changed so drastically? We both stopped trying? It feels too awkward for me to try now. I'm afraid that if I try it will seem like a desperate attempt to reconciliate. But why is that such a bad thing? At least this reconciliation won't be like the last attempt to "reconciliate" -_-"
How did it change so drastically, so suddenly?

It almost seems retarded to ask, "Is it worth trying to reconciliate?"

Memories: A Review in Progress

so I'm watching the ACF Banquet videos from first and second year.
It reminds me that there were good times, there were not so good times, and there were AWESOMELY AMAZINGLY GREAT times!!
I'm really excited for the school year to start again.
Not just because I'll get to see everybody but also partly because I'm hoping my somewhat excitedness for learning has peaked again. And hopefully that will stick with me.

Watching the first video, I remembered how much fun we had, how much love that was spread. I remember not being burdened by stupid, irrelevant things. Accepting this love, and building on the newfound friendships.

Watching the second video, I realized I had forgotten all the things I had learned in first year. Taking on responsibility had made me lose focus on what was really important. I see these pictures of things I had done in the beginning of the year, and I realized that I've totally forgotten how much fun I had, sometimes even forgetting altogether that I did it. and that's sad.
Watching the videos though, I got excited for next year. Ideas of making cupcakes for birthdays, or gingerbread men with names on them. Random house raidings. Dropping by first year rezs. The things we talked about doing back in first year "when we became upper years" to show the first years what it really meant to be part of ACF. I realize that half way through this year, I had forgotten most of my foundations. I had forgotten the real reason why I moved to Summit was to be surrounded by ACF people, to be in a community, and to spread the love and randomness. Instead, I started thinking about living costs and expenses. I had forgotten the reason why I became a small group leader was the spread the love and caring that I had been shown to me in my first year. Instead, I focussed on planning events, turn outs and success. My job became all about the money instead of just another life experience. I had forgotten all the real deep reasons for why I did things and had become lost in the chaotic world of temporary.

There are so many people that I'm sure I've "left behind and forgotten". The people in the Asian Clubs, the people from first year rez, people within my own year, who I just don't talk to as often anymore. I became stuck in a bubble that was just so comfortable I didn't bother trying to get out. I'm not sure if I'm still shielded by this veil of comfort, but I want to attempt to make a change. A change for the better. A change in the right direction. I continue to need guidance. I continue to need support. and the most important thing I've learned, is that I continue to need God's presence in my life.

Congrats Baby T on making med school in Alberta!