trust. hope. faith.

God will provide sufficient counsellors for HYPE
God's plan for my future is far better than i could ever imagine
i can continue to be faithful and not doubt
Love will prevail

～～～

i know they need a leader, but i am weak and tired. i am afraid that i can only do more harm than good. an unwilling heart is poisonous. i must have faith that He will provide when there is need. but at the same time, we cannot sit back and wait for Him to work. we must do part and He will do His. what is my part?

i know i want to be a part of the group. i want to feel accomplished. i want to be able to say that i've done it. i know i can do a great job. i will be dedicated to the cause. i need the feeling of knowing i am wanted. and yet i overlook all the things i have done. i toss them to the wayside in pursuit of this goal. perhaps i have lost my way. what are my reasonings? what is my motivation? why have i made Your people less significant than the lost?

i know i wasn't meant to be external. i've accepted that fact. the first time, i thought it was because i wasn't ready. the second time, i knew it simply wasn't meant to be. but i trust. that things will work according to His plan.